Until a few weeks ago, I would go into town expecting it... and it wouldn't happen.
Yesterday I didn't expect it, and it happened.
We've been separated and living apart for 18 months, the divorce will be final in just over three weeks. We had been living, apart, separate, for that times ten.
He moved away with our daughter and moved in with his lady 4 weeks ago. They are now thirty odd miles away in another town, I rarely go there. So I ventured out for the first time since my car was shunted and I left the hospital.
As I walked down the library steps, very erect and a tad gingerly to protect my neck and spine. My book treasures held firmly under my arm. I saw him walking towards the escaltor, laden with shopping bags, a petite woman chattering away to him a pace in front, as he stalled. His mouth dropped open and he stared. Our eyes locked and I found I smiled gently and mouthed 'Hi'. My feet kept walking me forward and past.
I kept going....a tingle of something, not quite tangible....between us. A lifetime perhaps.
I am no longer afraid. I am ready.