Until a few weeks ago, I would go into town expecting it... and it wouldn't happen.
Yesterday I didn't expect it, and it happened.
We've been separated and living apart for 18 months, the divorce will be final in just over three weeks. We had been living, apart, separate, for that times ten.
He moved away with our daughter and moved in with his lady 4 weeks ago. They are now thirty odd miles away in another town, I rarely go there. So I ventured out for the first time since my car was shunted and I left the hospital.
As I walked down the library steps, very erect and a tad gingerly to protect my neck and spine. My book treasures held firmly under my arm. I saw him walking towards the escaltor, laden with shopping bags, a petite woman chattering away to him a pace in front, as he stalled. His mouth dropped open and he stared. Our eyes locked and I found I smiled gently and mouthed 'Hi'. My feet kept walking me forward and past.
I kept going....a tingle of something, not quite tangible....between us. A lifetime perhaps.
I am no longer afraid. I am ready.
A DEFINITE MILESTONE! Oops caps lock
ReplyDeleteHope the good progress continues - both between you, and with your back
xx
Oh...thanks for the bread crumbs back here! :)
ReplyDeleteWine and a comfy chair sound delightful....
No longer being Afraid is heady stuff indeed!
Yeah for you!!! That's a big milestone. Congratulations.
ReplyDeleteThis is my second time visiting and I enjoy your writing very much. I'll be back again soon.
Cheers, jj
I'm smiling as I read this....glad that you finally 'had the other shoe drop' if you know what I mean...and that the experience just made you feel stronger.
ReplyDeleteAn important step forward in more ways than one. Firstly good for you, you just breezed through that encounter. Secondly glad you are back out and about following the crash. I had a humdinger of a one about 20 years ago, 50mph headon collison with another 50mph car... I very nearly never drove again after that one. First time out I was so nervous I thought I was a danger - luckily Mrs F forced me to get back on with it.
ReplyDeleteHe would have been staring at your gorgeousness, I don't wonder!
ReplyDeleteHe has made his bed. Let him die in it.
While you arise like the Phoenix from the ashes - brave, bold and beautiful!
Know that I love you and that you are strong - We all see it here in this piece... xxx
I am cheering .. can you hear me? That had to be gut dropping but you handled it with such aplomb!
ReplyDeleteThat's fab
ReplyDeleteglad I've found you here :-)
BRILLIANT! It had to happen. You won't worry about it happening next time now you handled it so well.
ReplyDeleteHope you still see your daughter.
Maggie X
Nuts in May
Very well done. You are strong. Like your new blog and I love the name. "Alice" to me conjures elegant and calm.
ReplyDeleteGlad to hear you are out of the hospital.
ReplyDeleteGood for you -- you kept walking forward and past. You got past the fear and beyond your hurtful past.
You are indeed ready for a future of new possibilities.
Cheers to you!
I found your blog by accident - and I'm so pleased I did. I remember this happening to me - well done you. It's a huge step that you took - very gracefully I might add. I will certainly be back to read more.
ReplyDeleteJacqueline
*applause*
ReplyDeleteI love your new blog, your writing [which just gets better and better] and you. XXX
ReplyDeleteOh my, that's a biggie. You certainly handled it with grace and dignity. Most importantly? It's happened and is behind you now.. no more wondering "what if?", because you know you can and will survive it!
ReplyDeleteI hope you're healing continues, both from the crash and the impending divorce. ((x))
I am WOWed! By you.
ReplyDelete